A New Factor In Life [Closed]

“Why am I even here? I-I can't remember...”

Her mind faded back to just a few minutes ago... She was sitting at her desk, forcing her concentration through paperwork, signing page after page. She didn't want to read through them all, but she had to. It was getting so fucking frustrating for her. She was once again crossing the “t” in Hatakeyama and then dotting the “i” in Kaminari. It was a process, a repetitive one. “Captain Hatakeyama!!” She rolled her eyes in annoyance as her name was called. A young woman, out of breath, busted through her door a moment later. “What?” Kaminari looked intensely at her. It was obvious she did not wish to be disturbed. She coughed, covering her mouth with her sleeve. “We have a problem. It seems a group of our squad members decided to take on a mission that was too great for them.” the woman explained and Kaminari's attention was grabbed. “Explain.” she stated. “They took mission 180, Captain.” the woman said, “When I came back for help, I ran into fourth seat Hagiwara.” Kaminari's eyes instantly widened in horror, “He was heading to the scene and told me to come get you.”

Kaminari was stunned for a moment. It was almost like it didn't register in her mind. She blinked slowly and then took a deep breath before sitting back in her chair. “Captain... Wh-What should we do?” the woman asked. Kaminari coughed again, though much harder than before. “Are you sick, Captain?” the woman asked concerned. “No.” she instantly replied, “I'm fine. I'm going after him myself.” Kaminari stood up and grabbed her Zanpakutō. Before the woman had the chance to disagree with her choice, Kaminari shunpo'd from her office and made her way toward the Senkaimon. It didn't take her long and the gate was opened for her. As she began to step through, she was stopped by a concerned young Shinigami. “Captain Hatakeyama... You look pale.” the young man said, “Are you sure you want to head out like this?” She smiled kindly to him and nodded, saying nothing more. She knew something was wrong with her. She felt like utter shit, but there was no point in delaying. The longer she took, the more likely it was that her subordinates died.

Rushing through the Senkaimon was easy. She came out to the other side quickly, but was unfortunately not as close to the battle as she would have liked to be. She could sense Toja and the other squad members off in the distance. She could sense about a hundred hollow, if not more than that surrounding them. And multiple of these were menos class. “God damn it...” Kaminari hurried, quickly making her way on the scene only to see multiple of her squad down and Toja was fighting hollow close ranged. She couldn't put her finger on it, but something was wrong. As Toja took down one hollow, another came up behind him and swung an over-grown tail toward the petite Shinigami. Kaminari's eyes widened as she shunpo'd forward, putting herself in the line of Toja's mid-flight body. She caught the young man as gently as she could before her other squad members hurried to her side. “Captain! We're so sorry! We thought we could handle it.” they apologized quickly, but Kaminari was more worried about Toja, who was now unconscious in her arms. She brushed his hair back and could tell by the look on his face that he was in pain. "Is it his hollow?" she thought and then looked up toward the rest.

“I'll take care of this. Get him back, now.” she demanded a lot harsher than she normally would have. She could tell now that Toja's inner hollow had sabotaged him in this fight and that angered her. She was doing her best not to show it, but her fluctuation in spiritual pressure was giving off a very strong hint. She. Was. Pissed. She made sure her squad members made it back to the Senkeimon with Toja okay and then turned her attention back to the hollow. At that moment, a menos chose to let loose one of it's large red cero at her, but a quick shunpo prevented her from getting hit and landing her right next to it's head. With a quick draw of her sword, Kaminari's blade sliced it's mask like a knife through butter. It didn't take long for the other hollow to attack. Kaminari ended up weaving herself in and out of limb after limb, strike after strike. She was focused, but she was a lot slower than usual and couldn't speed herself up. She began sweating only a few minutes in, not because she was weak or these guys were getting the better of her, but because she was sick.

“Yeah... That's right...” she thought as she ducked under another arm, back flipped over a tail, and leaned back far enough to allow a claw to fly over her. That's how she got here. How could she forget that so quickly? Kaminari was dripping with sweat. Her breathing was heavy and she could tell by how cool the still air felt as she moved that she had a high temperature. This wasn't good. If she continued to work her body like this, she could pass out and these hollow would make a meal of her. “Sandanjuu.” she quickly muttered as she raised her hand above her head and allowed a ball of energy to form above her palm. It quickly grew to the size of a small car and she shot it off toward a group of ten hollow. It landed between them, completely destroying the ten without much effort. The problem was that using any amount of energy seemed to be draining her fast. Seeing the red of a cero be charged up, Kaminari felt she had more reiryoku than she did physical energy at the moment, so she stood there with the top of her finger pointing toward the cero. She waited till the moment it fired and, “Tsuyo Kudaku” shot of a highly condensed beam of energy that, at the moment of impact, broke the cero apart. The moment that came down, she shot of a high powered Byakurai, destroying the menos.

Of course, the other bastards decided to keep it close ranged and physical. They began charging her again, apparently realizing that using cero was just not going to work in their favor. Kaminari ducked under an attempted grab and then hopped away from the second. “This sucks...” she thought as a tail slammed into her back. She didn't even take the fall right. Her body slammed into the ground and slid along until it slammed into a tree. She sat there coughing, surprised she hadn't spat up blood at this point. She felt a sting in her head and felt it; she hit her head on a rock during her slide along the ground, causing quite a harsh cut to form. “Okay... that hurt.” she thought as she looked up in time to see multiple cero being charged up and aimed toward her. She went to raise her arm when her vision went completely blurry. She blinked a couple of times, shaking her head. She assumed she was tired from all of the work and being out here fighting while sick wasn't exactly helping her condition. It took a lot of physical energy to do so, but she was able to jump out of the way of the cero. Unfortunately, she hadn't been aware of the second one's change in aim. She turned around toward the menos as it fired at her and her body just wouldn't react.

“Sh-Shit...”

The phrase "I'm getting too old for this" came to mind, but it wasn't the truth. It was merely a comical line that came to her mind to give her an excuse as to why this was happening. Being sick was a much better reason, but whatever. She had been caught off guard in more ways than one. A cero was incoming and her body was not reacting the way it normally would, but her former Captain and friend was on his way toward her and she could not sense it at all. As the cero threatened to harm her, she felt two arms slip under her, lift her from the ground, and move her out of the way. This was an extremely welcomed rescue, though once she realized who it was, there was no way in hell she was admitting that.

"Looks like you need some help."

Kaminari looked up to her rescuer and took in a deep breath, sighing it out in irritation. She could not believe she was allowing him to see her in such a pathetic state. She'd sooner decline a mission and send someone else out on it before she would look weak in front of Tsubine. This was the man that saved her, brought her into the world of the Gotei, and then insulted her a few years ago by choosing another over her for the Captain Commander spot. There was no way she would willingly allow him to see her like this and she knew that he knew that. Still, even with the situation, she was relieved he showed up when he did. The cero wouldn't have killed her, but it would have done some damage with her guard down like it was. Looking away from him, she narrowed her eyes and fought the coughing fit that threatened to bear it's ugly head.

"I c-can't believe...  out of all people that would show up..." she said, the breaks being her trying not to cough, "It had to be you. I swear I'm cursed." She looked back to him and took in another deep breath. She had recently seen him in the Seireitei; it had to be a coincidence that she is seeing him here. Either that, or he's stalking her. Both reasons had interesting and creepy factors about them. "Thank you, Tsubine." she sighed and wiggled her petite form in his arms, trying to get out, "You can let me down now." She'd either be put down or force herself from his arms, no matter how comfortable they were at the time. She looked down to her left side and roll her eyes as she grabbed the hilt of her Zanpakutō. "I should not have needed her..." she said and then realized something.

"If I find out the first thing you thought when you saw me was that I had gotten weaker..." Kaminari said, glaring angrily at him, "I will kick your ass, got it? I'm sick. I shouldn't have even been out here..." Kaminari raised her arm and shot of an unnamed Kidō, though it was obvious it was a Sōkatsui, toward a couple approaching hollow. "A few of my squad members decided to take on a mission that I specfi-..." Kaminari's face suddenly went poker, "Never mind." She had just realized that is exactly what she did when Tsubine chose Genpaku over her. Sure, the reasons for it were extremely different, at least that's what she thought. Were her members trying to show her they could do harder missions?

Anyways... Kaminari was a Captain back then. The fact that she was told she couldn't take on a mission was just a little more insulting than ten underlings. That was her reasoning and she was sticking to it. She was just glad she made it here on time, even if it almost cost her life. Luck was on her side today, and as she thought about it, she was happy Tsubine, of all people, showed up. "Kill them all please." Kaminari said, knowing she couldn't ask this of any other person, especially with what she was about to do. She took a deep breath, crossed her arms, and sat her ass down right there. Instead of fighting it, she began coughing quite heavily, causing pains in her chest to appear. When she coughed, she sounded congested. Her nose was getting stuffed up and she was still sweating, just a lot more than before. She honestly felt a little faint, like she was going to pass out, but did not want to do that right here, not in front of him.

"As if I needed your permission, Hatakeyama."

Kaminari raised an eyebrow at him and then shook her head. "I wasn't giving you permission, nor was I barking an order..." she explained to him as she relaxed against the trunk of the tree, "I was asking a favor. I can't handle this right now. My vision is blurry, I feel lightheaded, and my body isn't reacting correctly. If I were to fight, I'd likely get myself killed. If I were to fight beside you, I'd be in your way." Kaminari laid her head back against the tree and closed her eyes. She trusted him fully and had quite a lot of confidence in his ability. Even if a hollow got close, Tsubine would be there before she herself could really react to it. She wasn't expecting him to starting showing off his ability to her.

"Although you said I haven't changed in our last meeting..." he said and she opened her eyes to look back toward him. "Hm?" she raised an eyebrow again. "You're right, some things haven't... but now, I'll show you that things have changed." She smirked. What was he about to show off? His tone made that so obvious. She stared at him, her head tilted slightly to the side as it rested against the tree. "Tae, Ikinokoru." he said. When she heard that, Kaminari became pretty confused. "That's not his..." she stopped her thoughts when Tsubine's power released. It was different than she remembered, so she kept watching. "Well then, I was wrong... It seems he has changed a bit."

Kaminari was more observant than most, but not for reasons people like Mayuri were. Mayuri would want to dissect every inch of something he was curious about. Kaminari merely liked being able to say "Yeah, I know." or "Ah, I saw that" and anything else along those lines. It's why she knew her squad members so well. She actually paid attention. She didn't memorize their files, stalk, or study them. She made them her friends. In this case, Tsubine was one she thought she knew quite well. This new demonstration of power satisfied his need to show off and her need to know and understand what he is able to do. She took note of the distance at which that blade was cutting. It was a very... fitting for someone like him. Yeah, that was the perfect way to describe it.

It seemed her old friend was having a bit of fun. When was the last time he was able to take part in any sort of battle? He was acting like it had been a while. Kaminari sat back and watched, coughing her head of the entire time. Her chest was hurting even more while her head began to hurt with each added amount of pressure that coughing kept causing. She did her best to keep watching him, since that's what he seemed to want before he got in the zone, but she was getting dizzier and dizzier. She was sorta hoping for him to kill them faster because she was not feeling well at all. She swallowed and realized her throat was sore. As he tore through the hollow, Kaminari couldn't help but try and get up to help.

"Tsu..." she called out in almost a whisper. Yeah, he wasn't going to hear that, not while in the middle of battle. She stood up, struggling as she tried and used the tree as leverage. She took a single step forward and her dizziness hit it's limit. "What the hell is wrong with me?" she thought as she placed a hand over her forehead. "Tsu...bine!" she called out a little louder, but it was still possible he wasn't going to be able to hear that. Her breathing became heavier and her body gave out from under her. She didn't fall unconscious, but Kaminari's body fell forward into the grass. She laid there with her eyes half open, her breathing labored, and just hoping he'd notice that she actually needed some help!!

"Hatakeyama, are you okay?"

Kaminari would have looked at him like he was the idiot if she could. The day a Captain level Shinigami just lays on the ground, not moving, sweat dripping down their face, breathing heavy, and coughing themselves to death is considered okay had not yet come. He caught on that quickly though and came over to her. He turned her over and she got dizzy by the movement, enough to make her feel like vomiting. "You are not looking too well." he said and she glared weakly at him. "Yeah, that didn't help." Kaminari curled up a bit, taking a deep breath to calm the nerves in her stomach, but that wasn't working. "...You idiot." he said and she glared a little more intensely at him this time. "You sent them back to the Soul Society, didn't you?" Oh. Okay, yeah, that was a little idiotic, but she hadn't expected to pretty much pass out on the battlefield. "I didn't even..." she didn't bother finishing the sentence and just sighed. She pretty much screwed herself.

"Unless you can call them back, you're stuck here. I can't open a Senkaimon anymore. And I can't heal you. My skill with Kidō has only gotten worse. Although..." he said and she knew that, but she was interested to hear what other idea he seemed to have. Pushing herself up sit up and ignoring the heavy feeling in her chest, she looked up to him with a weakened expression. "What?" she asked for him to finish his sentence. "I could always just take you home with me." Kaminari stared blankly at him for a moment. She knew how he was only semi-joking when saying that. She should accept the offer and throw him off guard. He seemed to enjoy doing that to her, so why not? It's not like she felt up to being left alone here anyways. Until she regained some strength and ability to walk without blacking out, he was her best chance. "Sure..." she pushed up a soft smile, though it dropped pretty quickly, "I'd like that." She kept her eye on him, watching to see what the look on his face would show her. It wasn't every day that she said she'd like for him to take her home.

"All right then." What a welcome. That was it? She agreed to going home with him and that's all he had to say? She wasn't sure whether to be offended or not. Kaminari was soon swept up into his arms again, being carried bridal style in the arms of her former Captain. She had to admit that it was a little odd, but it didn't bother her as much as she thought it would. She trusted him enough not to drop her off the edge of a cliff, so there was no sense in worrying. That hard part was trying not to cough. She placed her hand over her mouth for the entire time, making sure that if she did cough, it wouldn't be on him. "I will warn you, it will be cold." Oh that was great. She thought she was coming down with a severe cold and was about to be taken somewhere that the cold had to be warned about? Probably not the best idea, but who cares. She was curious and out of energy. The combination weighed against her better judgement. She nodded to him, taking his warning. As his haori was placed around her, she didn't realize it, but she instinctively placed it over her head and between her cheek and him and then laid her head into his chest.

"This might be a bit rough." he warned her. A little nervous, her free hand grabbed hold of his clothing and she clenched her fingers around it. "Alright." she said with a weak tone. Even though she was about to be taken to a place she never thought she'd go, she was calm. She was able to fully relax and not worry about anything. Soon, they arrived at a huge building that Kaminari was confused by. She couldn't tell whether it was a house or a military base, but she wasn't very good at this sort of thing anyways. Still laying in his arms and leaning her head onto his chest, she kept looking around, taking in a bit of the detail that she saw in her surroundings. "So this is where he's been..." she thought as they came to a large room. She glanced up to the ceiling, amazed by the glass dome, though she'd not show it. She had never been the type to express her amazement over anything, so that wasn't changing now, no matter how sick she actually was. She was soon set down on an extremely long couch of sorts and relaxed into the cushioned fabric. One of the nurses was motioned over and immediately went checking her temperature.

Well, I can't say it's too decorative, but I have to say I like my own little home." Tsubine said while the nurse was checking her out. Kaminari felt a tear fall down her cheek, but it was not for crying. She was tired, weak, and sometimes peoples eyes just watered. There was no need to read anything into that. She wiped the water from her eyes and took in a deep breath. As she inhaled, she began coughing and turned away from the nurse and Tsubine. "It beats living in a small office or in the barracks, that's for sure." he said and caused her to giggle a little, which caused her to cough more. "Yeah, I can agree with that one... I'd like to have a bigger place to stay..." Kaminari went to sit up, but the nurse pushed her right back down. Kaminari gave her a "wtf do you think you're doing look", but quickly calmed since this was Tsubine's staff. "From what I can tell, you do have a bad cold, but you've recently had a pretty bad anxiety attack. Your heart rate is extremely high." the woman then turned to Tsubine, "We need to get her on medication now. If she has another attack, it will cause damage." With a quick glance toward Kaminari, the nurse waited for permission, from Tsubine, to leave.

The woman walked off to get the medicine as long as Tsubine would give her permission to do so. Hearing that caused Kaminari a bit of confusion. An anxiety attack? Her?! That woman had to be wrong. It was just a cold, right? Hahaha. No. Kaminari had a horrible anxiety attack. Sure, it was just a cold at first, but that combined with the stress of worrying about a certain someone, her squad members, that same someone getting hurt, and then not being able to take a breather when everything was alright just brought her over the edge. The fact of the matter is, Kaminari needed a damn vacation. There was no way she was going to be able to deal with all of this. Once the woman walked fully out of the room, Kaminari sighed and pushed herself up to a sitting position. She looked to Tsubine with the most ashamed look she possibly could conjure up at that point. "You must think I'm pathetic." she looked angrily off to he side, "I've never let things get this bad." Kaminari slid her finger from the top of her forehead and back through her hair, messing up her bangs for a moment, but they soon fell right back into place.

"I'm sorry you had to come rescue me..." she told him with a straight, pretty much blank expression. She already felt like a failure to this man, so this wasn't helping. Falling down ill and having an anxiety attack in front of him. It angered her, a lot more than it should have. Unfortunately, she valued his opinion, so to pretty much think that he saw her as less than anything hurt. A lot. In fact, it was something that was on her mind every... single... day...

"Hatakeyama..." he said to catch her attention. She didn't want to look up at him, but out of respect she turned her eyes toward his. "If I thought you were pathetic, I would have let you just get eaten by the hollows." That caused Kaminari to raise an eyebrow. Frankly, she'd be more disappointed in him than she ever had before if he did something like that, but she knew he was joking. He isn't that type of man, at least she fricking hoped not. With a few of the stories she's heard about him, sometimes she wondered just a bit about his sanity. Of course, she quickly dismissed any negative thoughts and laughed at the idea of him being any less than what she saw him as: an amazing dumb-ass. Amazing in his power and ability, and secretly his good looks, but a dumb-ass in his extremely retarded way of dealing with women. Of course, she'd never outright tell him that either. She preferred not to make him angry with her.

"Joking aside, I know you're not pathetic. I've never seen you as such." he reassured her with a slight push on her shoulder. Acting much more bold than normal, only because of her current state, Kaminari instantly put her hand over his as he touched her shoulder. She smiled softly. "That means quite a lot." she said bluntly, which is not more bold than her usual, though she does rarely express herself like that. "You're one of the strongest Captains of this generation. Although, I fear Kenpachi Zaraki more than you." her smile grew and then she chuckled. "I'd be lying if I said anything but... I do fear him a little bit too." Kaminari said with that weakened smile still showing, "I do think we can take him together though..." Kaminari looked confidently toward him, though that soon faded with a few more coughs. "Let's just never try to though... No point in taking that chance." she added and then turned away from him, coughing horribly into her hand.

"But still... I am sorry." she said after the coughing subsided. "Hatakeyama, never apologize for needing help. Frankly, I'm surprised you didn't send your Lieutenant to handle this instead. But at the same time, I'm proud of you." Kaminari's eyes widened slightly for just a moment as she turned to him. She blinked a couple of times, the shock wearing off soon after. She couldn't remember the last time he said something like that. "You held your own in such a condition. Your condition was quickly deteriorating and yet you took out more than I did." he explained and a different kind of smile grew, one that she rarely showed. There was a sort of innocence behind it, a sweet happiness that was like a young girl saying "yay, I did it". She felt proud and honored to have him say such things. Ever since he left, she felt like she was just a disappointment to him, even if he had acted differently their last meeting, she still felt that way.

A few moments later, the nurse came in and practically ran across the large room. "Here you go." she said as she came to a stop near Kaminari. She handed her a glass of water and four pills. "One is for the blood pressure, the other is to prevent anxiety for about twenty four hours... after that, just control your environment a bit, and the other two are to stop and prevent cold." the woman explained and then bowed out, "Please excuse me." Kaminari watched the woman rush out of the room, wondering whether something else had happened somewhere in this massive place. Kaminari glanced to the pills and then to Tsubine with a "I better be able to trust her" expression and then cautiously took the pills, swallowing a nice amount of water to wash them down. "Well... I'm here, I've been treated... Now what?" she turned to him. She was in a completely new realm; she had no idea what to do or even to ask. She was definitely a fish out of water in this place.

It wouldn't be long before Kaminari was going to start feeling the effects of the pills. Her immune system was strong, so she rarely took medicine, but when she does they effect her differently. It's too bad she always forgets that pills aren't good for her, otherwise she could have prevented the multiple embarrassing events that she has caused after taking pills. Oh well, here we go again...

Before they take effect though, she wanted to figure out what they were going to do. Tsubine was correct; she was stubborn and sitting here on her ass was not something she'd do. She preferred to keep busy. She wasn't going to die, at least not with him here. Now, whether that is her reluctance to allow him to see her in such a pitiful state that she'd never die in front of him or her complete faith in his ability to take care of her if she really needed it, even she didn't know. Maybe a bit of both? He talked about giving her a tour of the place, but even she didn't want that. She was quite content in this room. If she wanted to know how the place looked, she'd explore herself, not walk slowly at the instruction of someone else as they gave her a history lesson about everything they passed by. And though his reasons were a little different, she was glad he came to the conclusion of not giving her a tour either.

"Besides, I don't know if she gave you the non-drowsy kind or not. Ah..." Tsubine got an idea and she could tell by that cocky grin that grew on his face, "I know what I can do." Kaminari sat up perfectly straight, starting to feel a tiny bit better as the dizziness went away. Unfortunately, the cough did not. She tried holding back her cough while Tsubine said "Mode F-Twelve." "If your nurse did give me pills that make me go to sleep, I'm gonna hit her." Kaminari said, narrowing her eyes as she began coughing again. It was then that she started noticing the tiles flipping around and moving. She watched with a curious expression, but wasn't exactly someone to show excitement over anything, at least in front of Tsubine. His fault! He molded her into someone who shows very little emotion around him through the years!

Even if she didn't show any amazement though, Kaminari couldn't look away from the mosaic. Her face was expressionless, but she was also lost in the image, watching every movement as if she was put into a trance. It was beautiful and had her stuck on it. It took a good full minute for her to pull her eyes away from it's beauty. When she finally did, she turned toward Tsubine. "It's beautiful." she said seriously. And then it hit. At the moment, she was involuntarily staring at Tsubine. She was looking very closely at him, tilting her head slightly to the side as her eyes traced up and down him. Yes, she was checking Tsubine out. Why? Because she was high. Kaminari chuckled once and then looked away. She giggled and then giggled again. "Oh god..." she said realizing what was going on, "I'm such.. an idiot... Hahahaha" Kaminari couldn't even talk normally. She felt so funny. It was like she was being tickled. "I knew I shouldn't have trusted that nurse!" she said, laughing between words and then slipping off of the couch. "Eep!" she squeaked as she fell and then looked around in a daze, giggling in a shockingly cute manner at herself.

"Th-That's not funny." Kaminari rolled over onto her stomach and looked up toward him from her position on the floor. She narrowed her eyes, but there was a playfulness that was not usually there. Once he stood up, she watched him, her head moving way back to follow as he went to sit on the ottoman. "Hey! Wh-Where are you going?" she said as he walked over. Once he sat down, she tilted her head at him and blinked a couple times. "You're laughing at me." she said while trying not to laugh as well, "D-Don't laugh! Hahaha." She couldn't help but laugh at herself. This was the silliest feeling she ever felt. She had only taken pills six times in her life. The first two taught her to try not to do it again, but it kept happening accidentally, usually when she got sick like she was now. Kaminari kept her eye on him, looking him up and down. Once again, Kaminari was checking him out. Out of all the people he knew, the idea of Kaminari checking him out was probably extremely far out of his mind and highly unexpected.

"Your smile is taunting me." she said, narrowing her eyes in a playful glare again. At the moment, she was lightheaded, but in a very tingly way. It wasn't dizzying, nor did it hurt her stomach. She was even seen two, so every now and then she'd rapidly shake her head as if to straighten out her vision. Once again, she narrowed her eyes at him, but the playfulness was gone. In it's place was a hint of seduction and aggressiveness that would never be seen in Kaminari's non-high eyes. "I have a question..." she said and actually began crawling toward him on all fours. If the look in her eyes weren't full of lust, she'd look like an animal stalking her prey. Suddenly, Kaminari darted forward, even using shunpo to catch him off guard and just tackled him as hard as her petite body could over the back of the ottoman. The moment his back would hit ground, she'd grab his wrists and pin them to each side of his head. Of course, with their size difference, Tsubine could easily get her off of him, but she wasn't exactly thinking of that at this moment.

"Now... I have a bone to pick with you!" Kaminari said looking seriously toward him at this point, though her dilated pupils still gave off the impression she was high as a kite, "You say you're proud of me and that I'm not pathetic... So, there's something I've been wondering... Do you have like... a high respect for me or is it that I'm extremely unattractive to you? Because from what I've heard, you flirt and fuck every woman that shows interest in you, so why the hell am I the only one that hasn't gotten a chance?" And there it was. That was something that actually caused a lot of insecurity in Kaminari. She didn't know why. She didn't even know whether she wanted him in that manner, but it irritated her that the rumors about him being with so many women and then dropping them bothered her. Yes, these were the unconfirmed rumors that she had heard. Were they true? Well, they were with Yua, so why not with the rest? This is the stupid thing she has assumed for some time, and now finally decided to ask him up front. "Do you... think I'm ugly?"

"I'm not surprised people are still spreading rumors like that."

"I was... It's been thirty years and people can't stop talking about the Captain Commander who couldn't keep it in his pants." Kaminari told him, but quickly continued to explain herself, "At first, I didn't believe shit. I thought it was some stupid woman who got rejected and spread rumors. I got annoyed at them insulting you, so I began hunting the rumor spreader down, only to find Yua's name had come up... Once she told me, with very little detail, the basics of what happened between you two, I couldn't easily deny it. And then I hear more and more and more about you and Kimiko, you and Kei, you and Kira, and Jin, Ayame, Misa, Yuri, Alina... and other's I can't even count at this point, so it came to my mind why all these women... but not me? Yeah, you can say I was jealous of it, because in a way I am. I felt some how... inferior to them. Sorta similar to how you made me feel when it came to Genpaku. Inferior as a warrior and as a woman; kinda sucks to have that in the back of your head."

"Hatakeyama..."

"Kaminari!" she raised her voice a bit, but was quite serious about it, "My name... is Kaminari." Once she stopped being out of her mind, Kaminari was likely going to regret every action she had taken here. What's worse, she knew that and couldn't stop. She was going against her better judgement completely, but she needed the information. "First of all, I've only slept with four women in total—all of which I was in a committed, monogamous relationship with at the time. They are also the only women I've been in a relationship with. I've been confessed to by many women, although I end up sending them away with a simple 'Not interested.' People only went by those rumors for a couple of incidents... This is what I get for dating two co-workers, huh?" You've got to be kidding me. Kaminari blinked very slowly, as if she had to delete and re-register information on a computer made in the 1990's. "Never date a co-worker, subordinate or superior. It never works out and it just gets odd around the office." He was serious. This wasn't him joking with her.

"So... it wasn't my being unattractive?" she thought and sort of sat up, putting the two of them in a straddling position as she let go of his wrists, "Then why the hell can't I get a fucking date?!" She crossed her arms and glanced off to the side to think. What was she doing wrong? "Secondly, I've never thought of you that way. Or rather... I've seen you as a warrior first, a subordinate second, and a woman third. Although, now it's just warrior first and woman second." Kaminari looked back down to him and narrowed her eyes again. She leaned forward and was about to return to pinning his wrists when... "Eep!" Kaminari let out a high-pitched squeak , but this time as she was suddenly flipped on her back and pinned under him. "Ack!" she wiggled around a little bit, as if she were trying to get away, but there was no way in hell that was happening. "Now, I have a question for you, Hatakeyama." he said, catching her attention. "What?" she replied like a pouting child and looked away because they got caught off guard and flipped over onto their back!!!

"Do you want me to think of you was a woman first? Or rather...do you want to have a chance?" Tsubine caught her off guard again with that one. Her own words were just flipped and turned against her. Usually she'd spout something like "Ha, never", but that'd be a lie and she knew it. She also wasn't in the right of mind, so she turned her head back toward him and looked quite intently into his crimson colored eyes. "Yeah..." she said, pausing for a moment to see his reaction, "What woman wouldn't want to be looked at by you... And I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a time I was interested in being with you. Besides the fact that you can't seem to hold on to a relationship, there isn't much about you that's bad. And don't go pushing for compliments, cause I ain't saying nothin'! You always think you can get inside my head and make me say things, cause you can, but not this time. Nope." Kaminari turned her head away form him, as if to begin rebelling against his abilities to make her talk when she didn't want to. Not many women could resist those eyes, but she could! Well, normally she could. Right now? Who the hell knows? Better hope she comes down from her high soon...

"Okay, Hatakeyama." he replied and her left eye twitched. Why can't he call her by her first name?! Ack!! It's not like it's a hard one to say! He's not her superior anymore! They're friends! Treat her like it! That's what she wanted him to do at least, treat her like a friend. Kaminari has done it again. She has said and done things that she would not have said and done. This is the odd and unexpected effect that pills had on her and why she preferred shots over anything. She wasn't going to say anything more though! Nope! She made up her mind! "Well, I've already heard what I wanted this beautiful, young, and strong," Kaminari turned back toward him again, staring surprised at the compliments she was receiving, "woman to say." She was red. Her entire face was completely red at this point. Kaminari doesn't blush, not that easily, so that was sort of a big deal. Why did his compliments mean so much to her?! Well, she valued his opinion obviously, but these compliments were different. They were about her as a woman, not as a warrior. It was something people seemed to forget, being a warrior doesn't make you genderless, so a compliment on beauty (if it's there) is actually appreciated.

"Thank you..." she said in a slight whisper, trying to lessen the blush she had. "Now..." Kaminari gasped when her grip was suddenly broken from his wrists. Her arms were then grabbed and pinned at her sides with her forearm still bent upwards. "If you really want me to give you a chance in that regard... All you have to do is say it directly." Kaminari stared at him. His smile and that look in his eyes were drawing her in. "I-I..." she stuttered. What was she supposed to say do this?! She didn't even know if he was serious or not. "Just doooo iiiiiit. You know you wanna. Hehehe, hahaha!" a high-pitched voice that usually irritated her spoke up from the depths of her inner world, "You are never going to get another chance like this. Do it. Do it. Do it." Kaminari's heart began to race. She'd never even attempt this before those damn pills. "No, no. I should never do that. He will hate me for life." Kaminari responded back to the irritated inner spirit that was causing way too much temptation in her. "Oh come on! What do you have to lose? Just do it!" her inner spirit spoke back, pushing Kaminari into taking her action! She had a plan so now she had to implement it!

Oh well. Kaminari's decision was to use her now free wrists and turn them in, pointing at his wrists. "Sho." she said with a smile. One of the most basic and useful Kidō when not wanting to hurt someone! There are three things that can happen here. The first, he caught on to what she was doing and dodged her extremely fast Kidō before anything could happen. Secondly, he didn't catch on and the sho knocked his wrists off of her arms, causing him to fall forward because of the pressure he put into pinning her. If this were to happen, Kaminari would immediately lean upwards, sending her lips for his to finally share a kiss with him. And thirdly, he didn't catch on, the same shit happens, and he falls down into kissing her! Her plans were perfect! Well, except for the first one that left her kiss-less.

Success! Kaminari could not believe she had actually pushed his wrists out from under him. There was a sense of guilt, fear, shock, and pride that flew through her all at once. She felt guilty for catching him off his guard like that; if he had let his guard down so much to allow this, it was out of trust and she felt she may have just betrayed it. She felt fear because of what she was about to do. She was shocked she was able to do it. And she was proud that she got up the guts to do it. So the moment he caught himself, which she figured he would do since there was no way he'd allow himself to fall completely into a kiss, she leaned up toward him. Their lips met first and Kaminari instinctively closed her eyes as their connected. Also out of instinct, as if she had trained for this very moment, she wrapped her arms up and around him. There was this urge she didn't understand, one that wanted to make her closer to him. Because of this, she pulled on him. She wasn't strong enough to pull him down to her and she wasn't sure she wanted to. This was her initiation. She pulled herself up and into him, intentionally closing the small gap that had been set between them.

"Holy shit, you finally fucking did it!" the high-pitched voice returned, giggling excitedly in her mind, distracting her from checking something off from her bucket list! "Shut up!" she commanded that inner annoyance. What happened next, she was not expecting: his response. He lowered himself and effectively lowered her body back to the ground. She relaxed a bit while under him, her heart racing, and her mind going a mile a minute. She was tempted to break the kiss, but instead pushed into it even more. Her relaxing caused that annoying gap between them to reappear. She had closed it for a reason, but it was there again. She didn't care. Kaminari kept her lips locked with his, wanting nothing more than to deepen it, but at the same time end it. Really, it was up to him at this point.

This was absolutely amazing for her. Their bodies being so close together gave her a sense of warmth and security that she had never had before. This kiss, this connection they shared, it was overwhelming to her. She couldn't tell what she was feeling the most: shock, lust, fear, passion, guilt, uncertainty, security, clarity, or confusion. Even with these doubts, this short, long moment of bliss (the perfect way to describe it) between them meant a lot to her. Her insecurities faded with every passing moment. And thank god, before she took the next step in deepening the kiss even more, afraid he would react negatively, Tsubine was the one to further it, though not in a manner she expected. Her lip was bitten into and she reached forward to grab the side of his shirt tightly, a little taken aback by the sharp pain. She gasped and took in a quicker inhale of air through clenched teeth, hissing as he bit down hard enough to draw a tiny about of blood.

A moment later, he pulled away and her eyes opened again. She looked to him, her eyes filled with so many emotions that one could not count, but there was one that was apparent: satisfaction. She had finally done it; Kaminari had kissed Tsubine. And when that kiss parted, the small trickle of blood she felt dripping from the tiny cut in her mouth needed to be dealt with. She licked it up, still staring into his eyes, unaware of the expression of lust that she had just shown him. It was true that if he leaned down for another, she'd return the kiss. It's not like she'd be able to fight him; she wasn't so much of a bitch that she'd lead him on like that. "Mm..." a slightly quiet, satisfied, and unintentional noise escaped through her noise as she calmed herself down enough to function without the urge to jump on him. "So that was your answer, huh?" Whoa. How was she supposed to answer that now? Did she just go too far?

The fact is, Kaminari had no idea what her answer was. She had been hurt by Tsubine. He made her feel inferior to other people in so many ways. She valued his opinion. She wanted to be important to him, but in what way did she want that? The only relationships he had, that she knew was true, was his past love with Yua and his friendship with Genpaku. She had no idea where he stood with others and she was, for some reason, very jealous of them both. He saw something in Genpaku that he didn't see in her, obviously, and the same goes for Yua. What the hell was she lacking?! Anyways, she couldn't answer him perfectly. Kaminari reached up and brushed his hair back behind his ear. "I don't know." she said with certainty. Never before had she been so certain about being uncertain. "I know that I needed that kiss." she leaned upwards, placing her elbows behind her to keep her up, "But I'm not sure whether you did. I don't want to want a man who only wants me because I wanted him." Did that even make sense!? Kinda? Maybe? No? She didn't know!

"What I mean is..." Kaminari placed her hand against his chest, gently pushing him back so she could sit up normally, "The only reason you kissed me just now was because I wanted it. And don't try to deny it; you said before you've seen me as a warrior first and woman last, which is slightly insulting since even if I see you as a warrior, I put the fact that you are a man first. Seeing me as a warrior makes me feel like that's all I've ever been good for to you, a fighter, a killer, someone to send off to battle not knowing whether I'd come back or not. I just..." Kaminari had lowered her own guard at this point. She glanced away from him, shaking her head in disappointment in herself. Did she even know what she wanted? Yes, she did. She wanted to be treated like a woman. She wanted to be someone's love, not their leader or their subordinate. She wanted something she never had before, and actually wasn't sure whether it really existed. How the hell was she supposed to explain something like that? Oh well, it was time for her to give it a shot, otherwise she'd feel pretty bad at what she did.

"I want someone to want me... and... in a way that's more than just fighting, or friend." she explained, still looking away from him, "I don't know... Still probably doesn't make any sense." Kaminari was starting to feel stupid. She was starting to feel embarrassed. Her vision was going back to normal and that weird giggle was gone. Beyond that, she wasn't coughing anymore, which was actually good for her. She lowered her head in shame, lifting her knees as she set her forehead on them and began mumbling angrily to herself. "What the fuck did I just do?" she asked herself, speaking very low to herself, "Why the hell did we just kiss? I should have kept my fucking mouth shut. What the hell is my problem!? There is a reason I don't do shit like that.. Ehhh....." Kaminari wasn't the type of person to throw curse words here and there, allowing them to destroy what she was saying, but she was too irritated with herself to think about watching her mouth.

"No... you're making sense." Really? How!? She wasn't even making much sense to herself. She was just saying what came to her mind. Maybe that was it? The random spouting of what she felt was able to make things clear for him? "I won't deny it, like you asked. I wouldn't deny it anyways. It's the truth. I've seen you as a warrior first and a woman second. Although, I think our definition of warrior is different... could be a generational thing. Damn young'ins." Kaminari raised an eyebrow toward him and then her eyes widened when she realized what he meant. Holy shit the age difference was massive. He was almost a millennium! She was barely over a century! How the hell do you put logic into that?! "Oh my..." she let the words of embarrassment slip out and stuck her head right back into her knees again. She resisted the urge to go "you're so oooold" in a childish manner. She wanted to make a joke about it, but she really couldn't This entire situation was both embarrassing and awkward.

Kaminari truly felt like she had messed up very badly at this point. She should not have kissed him, or even hinted that she wanted to do that, at least that's what she thought. When his hand came to her chin and pulled her up to looking at him, that thought altered a bit. He was comforting her in his own way. Did that kiss mean something to him? She thought they were supposed to just be friends? Did he connect to her a little more than just friends? Kaminari blinked once as her eyes met his again. "Oh god, not again." she thought, knowing that his eyes were her weakness at this point. She shifted her eyes in the other direction, doing her best not to look at him. "How about this then." he said and she looked back to him, waiting for his suggestion, "If I don't see you as a woman first now... Why don't I just learn to, Kaminari?" Kaminari's eyes widened and her face turned redder than those beautiful entrancing crimson eyes of his. That was the first time ever, since they had known each other, that he actually used her name. It had never happened before and she was beginning to think it never would.

"O-Okay." she stuttered a little, still recovering from the pleasant shock of hearing his voice speak her first name the way he did. "Hahaha... You're falling, idiot." that inner annoyance spoke up again. Kaminari couldn't really reply, since right now she knew her Zanpakutō spirit was beyond right. She was falling and falling hard. She couldn't do that. Kaminari reached up with both hands, taking his in a gentle grasp. She pushed up a smile and tilted her head to the side. "I'd honestly like that..." she said kindly and then stood up fully, "But something tells me... that you couldn't handle me." Kaminari's demeanor went right back to normal. This was the real Kaminari, the one not effected by her odd reaction to pills. "Anyways... I owe you  the deepest and sincerest of apologies, Zarkonheinz." she said his last name on purpose, something she had only called him when he was her superior, but it was not meant to be insulting, more of a joke, "I have acted in a manner that I normally do not. I was not in the right of mind and said things that... I should not have said." Kaminari would not say that she didn't mean it, that would be a lie and she didn't lie. "I hope you can forgive me." she said finally, glancing away from him, ashamed of herself.