Stone Walls and High Tensions [CLOSED]

Everything was quiet through out the Seireitei and had been for a few weeks. It was strange to feel so at peace when everything was usually a mess. Among the maze like walkways of the Seireitei, was a young woman who had been around for a good length of time. Kaminari Hatakeyama, Captain of Squad Five was walking quite casually through the area lost in her own thoughts. Numbers and names were flying through her mind at a mile a minute while she attempted to remember the different cases in the paperwork she was supposed to be filling out. In fact, that was why she was out here, to relax. She was not expecting what happened next in a million years, let alone... "Twenty nine years, eleven months, three weeks, and six days to be exact..." Kaminari had instantly recognized that voice, even with the slight changes his tone may have held from before. She stopped dead in the middle of the walkway and turned herself slightly in his direction. She didn't hold a smile or any welcoming expression, "At least that's how long it's been since you threw the entire Seireitei for a loop and chose a Lieutenant over a Captain to take your place as Captain Commander." There was definitely a harshness in her tone. She had held onto that for years. It's not like she had ever gotten a reason why. He just vanished after he made his announcement and randomly decides to show up now?! He abandoned everyone after shocking them with news no one expected and then just up and left! Did he have any idea how many people were hurt by that decision? Kaminari being one of them! Sure, she was pissed off that he left and of his decision, but he was also a friend who just abandoned everyone. She was getting angrier and angrier as she thought about it, but even then... After a few moments a soft smile inched onto her face and she let out a relieved sigh. She turned to face him fully and stepped over. The little girl in her wishes to tackle hug him, while the professional in her kept her from doing it. "It's nice to see you again Tsubine... How have you been?" she asked as politely as one could sound until a sudden glare came on her face, "... And what the hell are you doing here? ... Very rarely do people who leave the Seireitei as suddenly as you did and for any extended period of time come back with a peaceful set of mind." That definitely seemed to be the history of the Seireitei. Most who did leave this place do not come back with good intentions.

Kaminari actually felt her left eye twitch a few times when he put in the hours. Sure, she counted, but she wasn't that insane and it actually almost made her laugh, but she held that back out of her own irritation. "A little spice would have been having a female Captain Commander for the first time, not some Lieutenant with no experience." Kaminari crossed her arms along her chest and raised an eyebrow at his reason. Though after her own little thought process, she calmed down and everything was okay again. No point in taking out anger on him now, though she could kick his ass (or attempt to) if she wanted to just because he was here seemingly uninvited. Asking him how he was came with a length answer. "So literal, as always. Have you lightened up at all?" Kaminari shook her head and chuckled a bit. "His job back...?" thought momentarily hopeful, "Hahaha no." was what came out of her mouth next. Yeah. She would have to be worried about if she thought he was coming back for his job. Twenty-nine years, eleven months, three weeks, four days, and six hours passed and now he'd want him back? Doubtful. "For one, most people actually enjoy having a steady Captain Commander and Captain's for once, so the likelihood of acceptance is actually a little low. After all of that bullshit, we needed something to stay the way it was... In a way, you not choosing me was a blessing in disguise." she said and then let her irritation drop again. Her expression softened to content and a small smile returned. "First Aizen left, then you, then Yuri, then Snopy... So much change within Squad Five, the members were becoming extremely dishearted. Though I was angry at first, a young man explained that to me... and I was glad to stay. So... in a way... thank you for that." Kaminari's smile grew a bit as she stated her appreciation of his decision, "Though don't go trying to say that's why you did it. That night I got to see exactly why you chose him and since then I've been supportive of your decision. It still hurt though... Why'd you just leave like that? You'd think that you'd have enough loyalty tell people what's actually going on."

Oh yeah. She knew what he was taking a stab at and immediately felt her face becoming warm as she began to blush! "Oh shush!" she said, flustered at his comment. She wrapped her arms across her chest to cover it up and stared dully at him. Kaminari glanced away with a guilty expression when he said not to thank her. Yes, he was right. She could have left completely if she wanted to, but the memory of that night still haunted her. Any time it came to mind, she felt like an idiot. "Yeah... You're right." she said in a calm tone, slightly whispering it. It was then that Kaminari began noticing something, his attire. His clothes were so different, pretty much the exact opposite of what she was used to seeing him in. In a way, it bothered her. It made her curious as to what he had been doing over the years. With the haori, it even looked as if he were part of some other organization, but which one? Is that why he left? Admittedly, her heart sank a little at that thought, but she shook it off quickly. Also... something about him was different as well, something within him. She was just not able to put her finger on it. What was it!? And then he explained. His position on his decision and being an 'emergency' choice was understandable. "I wonder if he ever wanted the position then..." she thought. Looking back to him, she blinked a few times and decided it was time to change the subject. "So, since you're not getting your job back..." she stated in a tone that almost sounded like he wasn't allowed to, "... what does bring you here?" She began walking again, motioning as if she wished for him to walk along with her. There wasn't much that the two of them could do, except walk and talk. Kaminari had been out here to relax anyway. She wasn't exactly expecting to run into an old friend, let alone the former Captain Commander. Oh well. Time to catch up! "Anything new for you in the past twenty nine years, eleven months, three weeks, six days, and six hours?" she asked him, going along with their smart ass counting routine.

Kaminari's mind definitely did not go to The Tsubine Zarkonheinz checking her out. Not only could she not see it, but if the thought was ever brought up she'd laugh and say something along the lines of 'as if'. She also was not shocked that he used some sort of technique when catching up to her, though it only confirmed that something about him was different. "Oh, you couldn't get your job back if you wanted it. We've grown to accept Genpaku and the stability he offers. Way too many shifts in authority after the Aizen bullshit... Way... to many..." she said as she glanced away with a sigh. She wasn't used to having his energy around anymore, so she could not place it for shit. What came next she was not expecting though, she did not even guess that his entire being would hav-... No he didn't change. From what he was currently explaining, he always was a Sugiura. "No wonder you have so much bad luck with Shinigami women." she said with a raised eyebrow and stated in a joking tone, though she was wondering if he understood what she was hinting at. Probably a bit of a low blow, but she felt that he deserved it with how hard his choice hit her, so... about half way even in her mind. He went on and actually asked about her, but that stumped her. Nothing had changed, at least nothing more than what he pointed out so sneakily before. "Yeah, I've been well. Not much has changed with me..." she said almost as if she was disappointed at the fact, "I can't exactly remember everything about before you left... Some of it I've tried to forget, a lot of it actually... Everything in my mind is jumbled up... You know I can't even put faces to a lot of the memories I've got?" She chuckled at the thought, though it did upset her. "Though... There is one thing..." she said in a regretful tone, "I went after that hollow you didn't want me to go after... I'm sorry. I should have trusted you and listened..." She set her hand on her stomach as she thought back on that day, wondering what his reaction to that was going to be.

Though it was obviously not going to happen and a semi-joking sounding, Kaminari just gave him a dull look and raised an eyebrow about him 'taking it back by force'. A moment later, a small smile formed and she just shook her head at him. "I know it was a joke..." she said, chuckling through the sentence. "A... What? An Overstatement!?" Kaminari was actually stunned by that, "How is that an overstatement!?" Kaminari looked to him as they walked. Tsubine might of gotten what she had said, and she hoped so. She noted the sadness in his voice and decided that was enough. That was when she decided to answer his 'how are you' question and went on a tangent about how she couldn't remember a lot of things. He stopped her and she looked to him again, listening to what he was telling her. "Well then... you're bad with names, I'm bad with faces. Let's put those together and remember everything." Kaminari chuckled a bit and then was shocked by him again when he gripped the area around his heart. She blinked a few times, her own heart racing at the stuff he was saying. She couldn't remember seeing him like that, ever. It was relieving, but still shocking. "Hm..." she blinked at him and thought back, "I... have one memory like that." When then explained to him about the hollow she went after even though he had told her otherwise. The first word out of his mouth was an insult, causing her to shoot one intense glare towards him, but that soon changed when she sighed and began laughing at it. "Yeah. I'm here because of Genpak-... the Head Captain. If he hadn't come after me, I'd be dead." Kaminari rolled her eyes playfully at that memory, "And yeah. It's dead. Genpaku showed up at the perfect moment, like something you'd see in a movie or read in a book. Right as I was about to be sliced down the middle.. or whatever... he randomly appears and stopped him..." She became lost in thought for a moment and then pat her stomach, "Yeah... first and only time anything has been able to leave a scar too. Funny thing is... I don't regret it..." She smiled happily up to him and then thought of something, "Oh... Is there anyone else you want to see while you're hear? If any positions have been changed since you saw them, I can point you in the right direction."

"Ha..." Kaminari chuckled at the relying comment. Yeah, he was probably right, though she seriously did hate not being able to remember everything she wanted to. "Ah... yeah, I know. I know I'm supposed to act as a Captain and refer to people in a respectful manner, but it's hard when you're good friends. It was the same with you, which is why I hesitated saying your name before." She told him, glancing towards him with a 'yeah that's right' look, "I couldn't tell whether you'd cut off my head for disrespecting you or not." That was a bit of an exaggeration, but at the time she remembered being slightly intimidated by him. "Oh-ho it was worth it! Snapped me back into reality, definitely." Kaminari said and followed it with a short chuckle. She had to admit that having him around again felt sorta natural. It was too bad he hadn't come back sooner than this. He had been missed by her, but probably a few other people around here. Kaminari also had needed to get that damn bug off her shoulder for the past twenty nine years, eleven months, three weeks, six days, and four and a half hours. Yes, four and a half hours, since that was about the time that little incident was over after he left. She thought about what he was telling her over the scar subject for a moment before asking him if there was anyone he wanted to see. Kaminari had to fight a raise of the eyebrow when he told her that there wasn't anyone. Seriously!? Dude, ha- Her? Ha. Not so harsh. All that told her was that she was the only one he was concerned about when entering the Seireitei again. Hehehehe, Ego BOOST! Anyways, Kaminari smiled softly and shook her head at him. "You really haven't changed, and if you have you're not showing it. There are probably a few people, at least two that I can think of right at this moment, that would not only be shocked to see you, but likely enjoy it as well." Kaminari looked back to him, her smile dropping a little, "Can you really think of no one? One would be heart broken if she heard you say you didn't want to see them..." Okay, even Tsubine can't be that dense! If he was though, she'd take that as them completely leaving his mind, so she was going to drop the subject completely. No point of trying to bring something like that around when they obviously weren't on his mind.

"Oh. You mean Bya-kun?" Kaminari said with a cutsie voice and put put on the most fake, cute, sweet smile that you could probably think of, actually attempting to hold it. A moment later, her face soured and she looked away, mentally slapping herself. "That was just too awkward. I couldn't speak of Captain Kuchiki in that manner away from him, let alone to his face." Kaminari actually felt a shiver, shuddering as a chill went up and down her spine. The rage of her fellow Captain would likely be unimaginable if he ever, ever heard her even attempt a single hint at calling him such a horrid nickname. Kaminari was still in disbelief that she actually said that. She was just glad that Captain Kuchiki did was not around to hear her speak in such a manner, though that did bring up the question of what he actually would do. It's not like the two of them were close enough to be on even a first name basis. Now she only wanted to test that. Mission: Call Captain Kuchiki out of his name just to get reaction and do not do it in front of anyone or imminent death...

"Hey, I thought that was only if I had stolen something!" Kaminari raised her right hand, wiggling the last two fingers. She knew his reasoning for choosing both of those fingers, though she felt the punishment a little harsh. Oh well. It was a good thing it was just a joke. Or was it? Kaminari blinked a few times at the thought of him being serious about doing something like that. "I hope you're joking..." she said, staring at him with slightly widened eyes, "You know what... Don't even answer that. Say nothing. Off of that subject..." Kaminari shook her head and looked forward, noticing that the two of them were coming on a building that should be pretty damn familiar to Tsubine. A small smile moved onto her lips as she motioned for him to look forward; in front of them being the building the Head Captain says in. " Sorry, but I can't tell you whether there is someone who 'wants' to see you, Tsubine." Kaminari said as she looked back to him, "And I think you know exactly who I am speaking of. Knowing you, you just don't want to admit that there is someone you need to go see. She's probably somewhere in there as well. The only reason I don't know whether she would 'want' to see you is because of how you left. You have a problem, you know? Not saying a word to anyone was not good. To be frank, you broke her... again." Kaminari hated saying it because she cared 100 times more for Tsubine than she did the girl, but he needed to do something. "Well... Here is where I think we part ways. I'm glad to see you again. Hopefully you'll be around a bit more, but there's a certain Fourth Seat I need to meet up with." Kaminari sent a wave, a smile, and then turned away from him, "Be well, Tsubine."

The day had come quite a long time ago, but this young woman was still in bed. After hours of paperwork being completely from the night before till just a few hours ago, she needed sleep. She was quite relaxed, sleeping deeply when someone had woken her up with a knock on her door. "Mm..." Yua's eye slowly opened as she rolled from her side onto her back. She was still tired, drowsy from the lack of sleep. She hadn't even attempted to sense who was standing outside. Before they would get impatient, Yua hopped up from bed, hair a bloody mess, but still dressed in the Shinigami uniform. Yua went over and opened the door, expecting it to be someone completely different. But when her eyes met chest and moved upwards to a familiar face, she blinked a single time in disbelief. "It has been a while, Yua." the voice said. Yua had no idea what to even say at this point. She was speechless. "Capta-... Mm... Tsubine." she said his name just to confirm exactly what she was seeing in front of her. It took a moment, but once it registered, he got exactly what he had expected from her. Her red eyes slowly narrowed at him in an intense anger and she swung her right hand across his face as hard as she possibly could. He could take it. Once that little burst of anger was exerted, she stepped off to the side, "Wanna come in?" No matter his answer, she left the door open and stepped back into her room before walking over to her bed and picking a brush off of the night stand. She brushed her messy hair back and set it back down. "What exactly are you doing here, Tsubine?" she asked in a low, almost uncaring tone. Even his smile through his greeting was unable to break through the facade she had, unlike before. He used to be able to manipulate her quite easily with mere words and a glance. "I can't see you coming here to see me." Yua said as she shuffled through a few things, picking up a piece of paper and setting it on the inside of her uniform, "I mean, it's not like you gave enough of a damn to tell me that you were leaving thirty years ago, why the hell would you care to come see me? I mean... It's not like I was worried, or assumed you dead." Through this entire time, she refuse to even look at him. Her tone was cold and uncaring, though her chosen words would usually imply differently. It'd likely be hard to read whether she was being sarcastic or really had not given a damn. Once she was done, now wide awake, she turned back towards him and stared, awaiting his answer.

"You could have said no, but then that'd likely make your trip here meaningless, don't you agree?" Yua said with a hint of venom in her words, referring to him coming to her room, "It's not like I could ever tell you what to do anyways." Yua waved her hand a bit, trying to rid it of the sting she felt after smacking him. She had almost done that on instinct. Normally she wouldn't have put such an amount of force behind hitting someone, especially him. Oh well, obviously there was something within her that felt he deserved it. As she began messing around in her room, she heard the door shut, but still kept her back to him. This was very odd for her. She had no idea how to feel. Anger, frustration, regret, relief, happiness... All of it was flooding her at once and she could not tell which of these feelings were dominant. And he wasn't exactly making her feel better about any of it anyways. Sure, she knew her words were the truth. He had not come to see her especially, but hearing it said out loud stung just enough to make her close her eyes, resisting the urge to roll them out of annoyance. It would have been nice to hear a kind word from him. In fact, in many years she could not remember receiving a single one. "A bit of guidance?" Yua froze in though for a moment, wondering who in god's name would have pushed him here. Of course, at this moment Kaminari sneezed and blamed Byakuya for likely backstabbing her in unintentional revenge, but anyways... Yua turned to him and just stared straight into his eyes with her stoic gaze, not breaking eye contact with him through out the duration of him speaking. Yua heard and took in every single word he said, but what she was seeing was more astonishing than anything she had seen before. Tsubine von Zarkonheinz was kneeling, lowering his head to her. She couldn't tell whether this meant he held her in high respects or whether his wanting to make amends was this strong. At the same time, she couldn't help but wonder whether he wished to make amends for her, or was it for himself? Did the memories of the past hurt him enough because he knew so strongly that what he had done was wrong? Or was he really out to make her feel better?

"I... Hm." Yua stared at him, shocked at what had just transpired, "I have no idea what to even say to you." She still did not look away from him. Yua clenched her hands into a fist, holding them tight enough that they began to tremble. "I want to be able to say it's okay, but it's not. I want to say I forgive you, but I can't." she told him, for the first time speaking her mind and not allowing his words to change the way she felt so easily, "You have no idea how hard you've made everything for me. I can't trust anyone. I refuse to allow someone to get close to me because I know they'll just toss me aside once I'm no longer of any use or they find something better. I have no friends. I can't smile. I can't laugh. I can't remember the last time I had fun. I don't even know what I'm doing with my life anymore... The bad part about it... I'm aware of it. I know how stupid I am, how foolish it is to feel this way, but I'm scared to death of changing it. There are times that I wonder if I even want to change it." By this time Yua's entire body was shaking in anger and regret. She began clenching her jaw shut, speaking through her teeth as she attempted to hold back the tears, but her fight was pointless. Her tears fell. She attempted to keep an emotionless face, but it was obvious that she felt. It wasn't obvious what she felt, but just that she did. "And the worst part about it is that I know it's my fault. I was stupid enough to allow my life to revolve around one thing, one man. I followed you. I am the one that kept coming back for more. It's all on me. I was an idiot then... and... I obviously still am... because... I still can't bring myself to even dislike the one person that caused me so much pain..." Yua's eyes were slightly widened and red, her cheeks flushed as well while tears soaked her face. Finally she had said everything she needed to. It only bothered her that it didn't change a damn thing...

This was harder than it should have been. With everything she said to him, with everything out on the table, with absolutely nothing held back, he was still melting those ice walls she had put up. Stop it, stop it, stop it!! She needed to break free from him, but he always pulled her back! Sometimes she wondered whether it would be better for her if he just vanished and never, ever returned! But if that were the case, she'd never get closer and never would feel whole again. Still, the moment he took her hand, she felt herself weaken both physically and mentally. She held her ground though. She will not show anymore weakness to him, ever. Yua stood strong, never breaking eye contact as he replied to her words with sincerity. How could he be so cruel!? Yet so kind in the same instance... His touch. He grabbed her fist and she couldn't keep it balled anymore. She loosened her hand on instinct and wrapped her fingers around his grasp. Though her hand was all he could feel, her entire body was trembling with emotion she could not control or understand. She hated this! Yet she loved it. He had actually gotten down on one knee to show how serious he was, but she never wanted this! She wanted him for so many years, but she knew exactly what this meant. He wasn't coming back, ever. He came back to the Seireitei, as her friend, as an old superior, but never as hers. It was something she was going to have to respect and accept. He had moved on, it was her turn, but could she?

Tsubine continued to demolish the gates around her heart with his words. Breaking eye contact for the first time, she followed his finger up to her cheek and closed her eyes once as he wiped a tear away. As she felt his hand pull away, she opened them back up again to look at him. This was strange to her. He did care for her, but not in the manner she longed for. It was time to accept that and let them both move on in life, though she would admit that at this point she was going to move on for his sake, not her own. Finally, she stopped shaking and the tears ceased. She calmed down and took in a deep breath. "I will never forgive the past. There were way too many ways you could have dealt with breaking my heart, Tsubine... Some probably would have helped it from shattering." Yua closed her eyes and sighed. There wasn't much else to say to him, except one thing she felt she needed to be let known. "It is obvious that you're gone and you aren't ever coming back, so I will move on as well." Yua told him as she pulled her hand away from his, "I also know that I will never stop loving you, I will keep my promise and never betray you. If you ever need me, call for me and I will be there... But, Tsubine... I need you to leave... Leave until I can figure out what I am doing with my life. I..." Yua stopped for a moment. Was she really saying this to him? Did she mean it? Yes. She couldn't turn back now. She took another deep breath. "I can't see you again if I am ever going to move on. I hope there becomes a time that I can, and if that happens I will call for you... then, and only then, will I forgive... and thank... you for every single thing that you've done." Yua stared down at him, her expression completely serious, even if she was breaking inside. She needed this. This was her closer.